Mysterious Horse Deaths

In the Spring of 2001, an epidemic of horse deaths spread across the state, and somewhat into bordering states as well. Most of the deaths were of unborn foals, who died along with their pregnant mothers during spontaneous abortion. A number of ludicrous, flailing explanations were put forth, but eventually the establishment and the media settled on one: cyanide-bearing tent caterpillars.

With a straight face and in complete seriousness, it has been explained that climatic conditions led to a high cyanide content in the leaves of Black Cherry trees, which were then supposedly eaten by Tent caterpillars. The cyanide-laden caterpillars and their cyanide-laden feces were eaten by horses which led to the horse deaths and miscarriages.

This explanation has generally been accepted with little or no quibbling, amazingly enough. Even though it assumes there are Black Cherry trees on or near all the farms. Even though it assumes there are tent caterpillars on or near all the farms. Even though it doesn't explain the deaths of horses that were kept in stables and not allowed to graze.

We have no explanation for what caused the horse deaths, but we do regard it as an unsolved mystery, as the official explanation is about as believable as Arlen Specter's Magic Bullet Theory.